Archive Posts

Sophie spent her winter break breaking in her new sewing machine.

Photos of my kids’ halloween costumes throughout the years. Sophie, in particular, loves dressing up for Halloween. She usually planned her costumes a year or more in advance, and made many of them herself.

Nothing instills confidence in the veracity of a claim like “Authentically made inside the USA.”

I really wish our country had a consistent name. I’m tired of scrolling through pop-up menus not sure if I’m looking for “United States”, “USA”, “America”. Is it at the top? Is it in its proper alphabetical place?

This should be easier.

Fun Fact: “Whelmed” means overwhelmed.

Sophia decided the Harry Potter series should be called “Hermione Granger and the Boy Who Was Contractually Obligated to be the One Who Kills Voldemort.”

It is a dark time for obscenely wealthy and powerful people in America. I feel for them.

Link

I watched the new Bob’s Burgers with Sophie this morning. Mr. Fischoeder said:

“It smells weird everywhere, sir. That’s how you know you’re alive.”

And nothing — NOTHING — has ever resonated more with me. This is my new motto.

Long productive work day and now it’s time to read the news. Wish me luck.

Well this left me speechless. A beautiful, powerful, fascinating indictment.

Link

I wish I could go to the dentist every day.

“We know the president is unfit for office but don’t worry, we’re patching it over with a little light treason. All’s well. #maga”

For the first few episodes of The Great British Baking Show I thought they were calling that guy “Mr. Hollywood” to make fun of him. But it turns out his actual name is Mr. Hollywood.

The last political act of John McCain was maybe his best.

New rule: Facebook can’t show me ads with corned beef unless they also send me corned beef.

Roberta McCain was my age in 1955.

There’s a guy at my work named Geoff Correy and we get each other’s stuff sometimes. This has never happened to me before and it is very exciting. I’ve never felt more normal.

Me: Just do your best and don’t worry about it.

Sophia: [sighs] My best is so much more work than I want to do.

I’m seeing a lot of Botox ads lately so apparently Facebook isn’t just turning on the mic to spy on us. It’s using the camera now too.

How about we fly flags at half staff until we find all the parents we deported without giving them back their children?

There are few things I’m more sure of than this:

x >= size-1

Is better than:

x > size-2

How I write emails:

1. Explain a bunch of stuff.
2. Break it down into bullet points.
3. Add background info.
4. Ask my question.
5. Delete everything from 1, 2, and 3 and click send.

We took Sophie to Los Angeles to visit her friend Zha Zha and her family.

I’m beginning to think trump may have been mistaken when he said he would hire only the best people.

“Cohen said he was directed to violate campaign law at the direction of a candidate for federal office.”

Lol. “A” candidate.

Link

[ed: The original article has since been moved behind a paywall so I have updated the link to point to archive.org.]

“…For 50 million years our biggest problems were too few calories, too little information. For about 50 years our biggest problem has been too many calories, too much information. We have to adjust, and I believe we will really fast. I also believe it will be wicked ugly while we’re adjusting.”

How will that ugliness manifest itself? “Donald Trump.”

Link

Current Status: Sophia called me at work to complain that I laugh at everything she says which made it hard for her to write a comedic short film because she doesn’t know what is actually funny and what is something just I will think is funny.