Int. Apple Store, in alternate universe where the iPhone 4 is available in two models with two antenna designs.
SALES REP: “Welcome to the Apple Store. Do you need any help today?”
CUSTOMER 1: “I’m thinking of getting the iPhone 4.”
SALES REP: “Awesome, let me show them to you. This is Model A. As you can see, it is exceptionally thin and beautifully constructed. Here, try it out.”
CUSTOMER 1: “Wow, this feels great. What about that bigger one? What extra features does it have?”
SALES REP: “That is Model B. It has exactly the same features as Model A — the same beautiful screen, video calling features, excellent multitasking support — but it has a different antenna design. To accommodate an internal antenna, it is thicker and not as beautifully constructed.”
CUSTOMER 1: “Oh, does it make better calls?”
SALES REP: “No, not at all. In fact, reviewers and users generally report that Model A has better call quality and reliability, and our testing backs this up. You can make calls in places where Model B doesn’t work at all.”
CUSTOMER 1: “Then why does Model B have a different antenna?”
SALES REP: “Well, if you hook them up to fancy machines and measure something called dbm, Model A’s dbm number goes down more than Model B’s when you touch the phone in certain places or squeeze it tightly…”
CUSTOMER 1: “So if you, like, touch Model A it won’t make calls?”
SALES REP: “Oh no, not at all. Model A has better coverage in most circumstances because of the better antenna design. Most people find it more reliable. In some isolated cases, the antenna design may lead to a loss of signal for some users in some locations when held in certain ways. This is very rare, and if it is a problem for you, simply wrapping it in a case clears it up completely.”
CUSTOMER 2: “You are misleading him. Model A’s antenna is so bad that Consumer Reports can’t recommend the phone. They say it has a fatal antenna design problem.”
CUSTOMER 1: “I think you’re confused. The reason I’m here is that Consumer Reports rated Model A the best smartphone available. They said it has very good call quality and reliability.”
CUSTOMER 2: “No no. That was on Monday. But on Tuesday the clarified that it is totally unusable as a phone.”
CUSTOMER 1: “So which one is it? Are they lying?”
SALES REP: “No, they aren’t lying at all. It just depends which is more important to you. If you are concerned with call quality and reliability, Model A is probably the best bet, possibly with an additional case. If you care a lot about stable dbm, then you should go for Model B. Consumer Reports is perfectly clear: Call quality is better in Model A, the dbm thing is more stable in Model B.”
CUSTOMER 2: “Wait, why would I care about dbm. I don’t even know what that means.”
SALES REP: “You’ll have to ask Consumer Reports.”
CUSTOMER 1: “So you’re saying I need to buy a case in order for Model A to work properly?”
SALES REP: “Not at all. The Model A antenna design improves quality and reliability, but at the expense of increased attenuation. In a vast majority of situations, it works better than Model B even without a case. But we have heard of some unusual circumstances where it may perform a little worse. This means depending on where you live or work, where you use your phone, and how you hold it, it may be beneficial in some situations to get a case for the best performance.”
CUSTOMER 1: “So you’re saying I really should buy a case if I want it to work as well as possible.”
SALES REP: “I see your point. Even though it is better over all, it is frustrating that an add-on improves it in the weak places. I’ll tell you what. If you buy Model A, I’ll give you a free case. We have several options to pick from. That way, if it happens to be a problem for you, you’ll have a case. Also, don’t forget you can always return the phone for a refund within 30 days. In fact, since people seem to be very worried about the new antenna design, we’ll let you return it no questions asked with no restocking fee. So feel free to try it out. We think you will love it. Of course if you prefer, you can buy Model B.”
CUSTOMER 2: “Oh, that is great. Consumer Reports said before they could recommend the phone, you would have to change the antenna or give out free cases. So that takes care of their only concern. I guess it really is the best smartphone available.”
SALES REP: “Actually, that was on Tuesday. Today Consumer Reports says a free case isn’t good enough.”
CUSTOMER 2: “I’m so confused.”
CUSTOMER 1: “I guess I just don’t understand why Model B even exists.”
SALES REP: “Neither do I.”