gwcoffey.com

Archived Post

This post is archived from my Posterous blog, which shut down in 2012. Some posts have been edited slightly to fix typographical errors, correctly represent the gender of some individuals, and remove unnecessarily-gendered language. You can view the full archive here.

I wrote this poem for Isabel’s friend, who was collecting poems about Guinea Pigs for a project:

Guinea Pig, O’ Guinea Pig
I have bad news for thee

Tho’ your name is Guinea Pig
You are no pig to me

For pigs are big, and round, and snort
And dig all day in dirt
But all you ever seem to do
Is pee upon my shirt

Pigs, what's more, make bacon crisp
A truly perfect food
But bacon from a Guinea Pig
Is never very good

Guinea Pig, O’ Guinea Pig
You furry little friend
I'm glad you don't belong to me
For I would be your end