Peach Yogurts
Come with the strawberry and blueberry. Peach yogurt is gross.
Apple Logo Stickers
Come with everything I ever buy from Apple. I really only need between zero and one.
Plastic Collar Stays
Come with dress shirts. I’m just going to lose them.
Cheap hangers
Come with clothes. I already have hangers.
Free trial versions of crappy software
Come with PCs. Crappy.
Dealer promotional decals and license frame
Come with a new car. I actually hate you so I definitely don’t want to advertise for you.
Extra baskets and attachments for a dishwasher
Come with the dishwasher. I don’t have that much storage space.
Interactive DVD games
Come with kid movie DVDs. DVD player is to gaming platforms as radio flyer wagon is to effective modes of transportation.
Archived Post
This post is archived from my account on li.st, a social media app that shut down in 2017. Some posts have been edited slightly to fix typographical errors and correctly represent the gender of some individuals. You can view the full archive here.