Inspired by @ChrisK
I want to be happy.
We are all of us lost sometimes, uncertain sometimes, and we try to have faith in something, whatever it may be, and hope our lives have meaning. But any true meaning is hard to come by. Whatever I think though, what always gives me the deepest happiness is to be a little less selfish for a time. Paradoxically, forgetting yourself and giving to someone else makes YOU feel better. “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”
I want authenticity.
This is another elusive thing. James Joyce said that sentimentalism is “unearned emotion”. I want to earn what I feel. I want to connect to a few people deeply and know them as authentically as I can. And I want entertainment and art to teach me about authentic experience. This is hard.
I want to understand.
I want to understand the world. I want to understand the people in my life. I know that I will die and with me will go all the understanding I’ve gained but it doesn’t matter because it is gaining it and possessing it for a short time that seems to be meaningful to me. I can’t explain why.
I want to share.
I want to translate my existence into words in some authentic way and share it with someone else. I want to explore the limits of this translation. I want to feel through that exploration the depths of my own misunderstanding of everyone and everything else.
I want to accept.
I want to expose my weakness. I want to feel my failings. I want to weep for the pains of others as well as my own. I want to understand that I will never fully understand and choose to try to anyway. And through all this I want to realize that your life has its own meaning, that you fail too, and that ultimately we are the same.