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“Per pound, fireflies are brighter than the sun.”
“What kind of face-first acceleration can a pizza survive before it spreads out to fill the bottom of the box? I haven’t found any data on that…”
“One would get in trouble with the International Niagara Committee, the International Niagara Board of Control, the International Joint Commission, the International Niagara Board Working Committee, and probably the Great Lakes–St. Lawrence River Adaptive Management Committee. Also, the Earth would be destroyed.”
“Even if we peeled up the upper few dozen kilometers of crust and flung it at Jupiter—and for the record, I do not recommend we do this—it would trim less than a single mile per hour off Jupiter’s speed.”
“[This] gives us one last way to prove that you can’t start a fire with moonlight: Buzz Aldrin is still alive.”
“A bathtub full of saliva is pretty gross, but that’s not what you asked about. For some reason—I don’t really want to know why—you asked about filling a pool.”
“Believe it or not, throwing cars at a planet might be better for the planet than driving them on the surface. But it’s hard to say for sure.”
“Honestly, a better answer to this question might be ‘because air is blue.’ Sure, it appears blue for a bunch of physics reasons, but everything appears the color it is for a bunch of physics reasons.”
“Weird that ’lots of corpses floating around’ is somehow an optimistic prediction about the future of space travel.”
“WARNING: The behaviors you’ve developed, guided by our collective experiences in a world dominated by the warmth of sunlight, will not safeguard your life when you enter. You are leaving the domain of the sun.”