Inspired by @ListPrompts
I’m not sure it’s fair to call it a horror story. At the time of course I thought lots of judgmental thoughts about my first college roommate. But looking back I think he probably struggled in ways I didn’t understand.
Anyway…
I took the lottery my freshman year and was assigned a room with, let’s call him “Tony”.
He was super quiet and shy to a degree I’d never seen. I’m shy but he was about eight notches more shy than me.
He never ever looked me in the eye when we exchanged our few words.
We lived together for four months and he probably spoke 20 words to me in that time.
He changed clothes in the closet.
It was not a walk-in closet. He had to stoop way down to squeeze in under the shelf and rod and struggle to close the door behind him. He would then emerge in new clothes.
He watched a lot of porn with his friend late at night on a tiny tiny television while I tried to sleep.
I know porn is all accepted and a-ok culturally right now but I think porn is gross and often problematic and it always made me sad the few times I saw it as a teenager.
Sometimes my girlfriend would come over and he would sit on his bed with his back against the wall and watch us talk and kiss.
We only did this once because it was super creepy. And also she lived far away.
I was struggling in college with my own existential crisis and began to wish for a different roommate.
This was in 1993. It was a different time and I suppose what I’m about to say will seem hard to believe for college folks today, but it seemed sort of normal then I’m sorry to say.
On another floor in our dorm it was discovered that two young men were gay and involved in a relationship. When this came to light, in accordance with the dark time, they both immediately dropped out of school and disappeared. 😢
I sometimes think about these guys and hope that they found a more accepting place to learn and grow.
Anyway, this left an open room. So I moved in to that room with an old friend, Casey.
The room was “tainted” socially because it was the “gross gay room” so it was easy for Casey and I to get it. Nobody else wanted it.
He and I both struggled in an existential way but we struggled together and it made a difference.
He is such a kind man and he helped me a lot. I will always be grateful that I was able to finish that school year with Casey.
Still to this day he checks in occasionally and asks about my brother (who has had some health problems). He is one of the kindest people I ever knew.
And as for Tony? I never spoke to him again. I sincerely hope he found someone to live with that he felt closer to.
The next year I dropped out of school. I married my wife a few months later and never had another roommate.
Hmm. I guess the only horror story here is how two young gay men had their education aborted and their social lives upended simply by being.
Although I did not participate in any direct cruelty (and would not have — not my style) I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for them publicly.