MAZ: That was many years ago. Before the Ewok genocide.
SNOKE: [picks up Luke Skywalker’s light saber] My preciousssssss…
CHEWBACCA: I just haven’t really wanted to leave the house … Or even … [laughs sadly] get out of bed … since … well, you know…
R2D2: [eyes BB-8] How easily I could end the farce with — [looks down, disappointed whirring]
REY: Does this bikini come in metal?
KYLO REN: No! I am your brother!
SARLAAC: [retches, Boba Fett emerges, dusts himself off, jet packs back to his ship] BOBA FETT: Set a course for Skywalker Ranch.
JABBA THE HUTT: [emerges from 20 years in his cocoon, spreads his glorious wings, and sings] I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!
FINN: Wait Lando is my father? I’m out.
LEIA to KYLO: Not my daughter, you bitch! [ignites light saber]
Archived Post
This post is archived from my account on li.st, a social media app that shut down in 2017. Some posts have been edited slightly to fix typographical errors and correctly represent the gender of some individuals. You can view the full archive here.