[ed: This is in reference to the delightful Netflix show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt]
What in the ham sandwich?
Hold the pickles.
Shut your wet mouth.
I’m gonna make waffles out of him.
O. M. Gosh.
What the fudge?
What the Helvetica bold?
(my personal favorite)
What the huh?
What the hello operator give me number nine?
What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks?
(my wife definitely said this a lot in the early 90s; side note: we’re from Indiana)
You know what really raisins my cookie?
I don’t get pissed off, I get pissed on.
What the Hellman’s mayonnaise?
Aw cracker on a cracker.
Fudge that sugar. Fudge it to heck.