@ChrisK this is fun.
[scans book, computer makes an ominous buzzing sound]
Me: “I have a bad feeling about this.”
[buzz]
Me: “Listen, there was a problem with the card catalog. Those books would have been on time.”
@imc: [nudges me, whispers] “They don’t have card catalogs anymore, dad.”
Me: “Well then why don’t you talk to the lady?!”
@imc: “It says we have an unpaid fine.”
Librarian: “Yes. You turned in Breakfast at Tiffany’s two weeks late. The fee is $2.”
Me: [discretely palms blaster] “Look lady, I can get you 75ยข by the end of the day but you got to understand it’s going to take time to get the rest. This place is crawling with security.”
Librarian: “It’s ok. I can clear the block so you can check out your books now and then you can pay the fee next time.”
Me: “Well why didn’t you say so?!”
Librarian: “We love our library patrons!” ๐
Me: “I know.”
@imc: [scans book, computer lets out a friendly beep]
Me: “We’re all clear kid! Now let’s blow this thing and go home!”
@imc: [to librarian, mouthing silently] “I’m so sorry.”