This is the most honest portrayal of my personality I’ve ever listed.
I would probably forget to check.
I mean how do you even find out? Is it still on tv with the lady with the swimsuit and all?
After a couple days it would be all over the news.
I’d find out on Facebook that the winning ticket was purchased at the Circle K right by my house.
And I’d think “oh man, I bought a ticket there.”
I’d look in the little pile of folded receipts and other pocket detritus on my night stand.
But as I unfolded them I’d know that this is all from the last couple of days and I bought that ticket a week ago.
I’d dig through the dirty laundry checking all my pockets but it wouldn’t be there.
I’d dig through all the papers on my desk.
I’d find that donation receipt I was just looking for for my taxes and think “oh here this is I need to put this where I’ll find it” and then I’d put it back in the pile.
But I wouldn’t find the ticket.
I’d call to my wife and say “honey have you seen my powerball ticket?”
She’d say “you bought a Poweball ticket?!” With a little incredulity.
I’d say yes and try to claim I was teaching the kids about probability or something.
She’d say she has not seen my ticket.
Within a few days it would be a city-wide obsession: who bought the 1.3 billion dollar ticket?!
People would rummage through all the trashcans in my neighborhood. It would be a huge mess.
But eventually it would die down.
And the mystery would be unsolved.
Next week there would be a 2.9 billion dollar winner. She would donate half her winnings to the Gates foundation and I would say “I would do that too if I ever won.”
But I did win. I just wouldn’t know it.
Until four years later when I find the ticket tucked inside the book I was reading the day I bought it.