gwcoffey.com

Archived Post

This post is archived from my account on li.st, a social media app that shut down in 2017. Some posts have been edited slightly to fix typographical errors and correctly represent the gender of some individuals. You can view the full archive here.

So you’re making a veggie tray (or what I suppose @lisa_fav would call crudités) and you want everything even and pretty. You guys have probably always known this but I managed to go like 30 years before I figured it out.

  1. Start with a pepper with a relatively uniform shape.

    For an elegant veggie tray choose tall peppers if you can find them. This is a fat pepper so my sticks won’t be so great. But it’s just my lunch so [shrug emoji thing].

  2. Cut off the top and bottoms evenly.

    Eat these parts yourself. Yum.

  3. Slice straight down the side.

    Just one straight slice.

  4. Unroll and remove the core.

    You sometimes have to cut it into two pieces at this point but when the pepper gods are with you it will just unroll into one continuous beautiful rectangle.

  5. Carefully slice along the inside to remove the ribs and clean up uneven ridges.

    Don’t cut yourself here and don’t cut too deep. Just cleaning up the ribs.

  6. Slice into sticks.

    Mmm…so even. 💅🏽