gwcoffey.com

Archived Post

This post is archived from my account on li.st, a social media app that shut down in 2017. Some posts have been edited slightly to fix typographical errors and correctly represent the gender of some individuals. You can view the full archive here.

Inspired by @maggieannre

  1. Kill me.

    I’d prefer you do this quickly and painlessly but that isn’t strictly necessary.

  2. Carefully study my proportions.

  3. Using advanced 3D Printing technology, manufacture a Geoff-suit.

  4. Insinuate yourself into my family and life.

  5. Whenever the lights dim and the opening flourish starts when you’re watching a movie, lean over to the person next to you and say quietly and nervously, “I’m scared. Are you scared?”

    This will 100% convince any member of my family that you are really me and go a long way toward glossing over the fact that you didn’t know their names or where the bathroom was in our house.