Facebook Archive (Page 27)

I’ve lived in this house for 10 years and we’re moving out soon so it seemed like as good a time as any to finally have a locksmith fix the fact that there are fully seven visually identical but actually different keys to various doors in this house. I feel like Sauron now. One key will open them all.

My house has been on the market for 4 days now. This is 4 times longer than it took my last house to sell. So like what’s the holdup?

Just drove by a house to check it out from the outside and my old neighbor popped out the front door. So we got an easy impromptu tour.

Isabel took their babysitting charges to the Science Center on the Light Rail today, and now they’re taking them home, then riding the train back to our house. Such a metropolitan young person.

Also, they got their driver license today. Alas, in Arizona they can’t take passengers (with a few exceptions) for six months.

Anyway, a fun transportation day all around.

“Dear sir or madam, It is glad to write to you with keen hope to open a business relationship with you. I obtained your company name and email address from the Internet.”

Isabel and I made the best of our short time together before they leave on their next outing. Fault In Our Stars and then dinner at Pizzaria Bianco.

I’m thinking of getting a home equity line of credit. I’d like to buy a new SUV. What are the best hiking boots?

Nah, just kidding. Just screwing with Facebook’s ad algorithms.

My house is like the house in Poltergeist except instead of murderous intent, it just wants to mildly annoy whoever lives in it.

What would be awesome is for my water heater to break and leak water everywhere and soak through the walls and into my closet on the day I’m showing my house for the first time.

The Five Phases Of Being Home While Your Family Is Away on Vacation

1. Ahh, silence. So nice.
2. My bed feels a little empty but boy is it quiet.
3. My kingdom for a little background arguing.
4. Can’t stop browsing old photographs.
5. Kleenex commercials now make me cry.

Does anybody close by have a tart pan I can borrow tomorrow (Thursday)? I swear I kept one out when I was packing away non-essentials but I can’t find it for the life of me. They must all be in a box buried deep in storage.

My favorite encounter in Mexico:

Waiter: “Are you from England?”

Me: “No, Phoenix.”

Waiter: “Oh, ok. I was just hoping could tell me World Cup results.”

This Facebook Posting Couldn’t Live Up To Its Promise, But It Used A Technique You Won’t Believe To Reap Attention.

Friday Fun Fact: There were two posts in a row on my Facebook page this morning titled “Friday Fun Fact”.

Today I Learned:

Me: Did you tell your mom Happy Mother’s Day?

Yamilet: No, I’m Mexican.

Me: Uh, what does that have to do with anything? You can still wish her a happy Mother’s Day.

Yamilet: Mexican Mother’s Day was yesterday.

Huh. The more you know.

Found this delightfully passive aggressive bullet point in the Prom dress code document from Isabel’s school:

“Ties, waistcoats, and cummerbunds may be colored, if you really think that’s a good idea.”

An old Michael Silverblatt interview in which (among other things) Art Spiegelman seems to argue that reality tv is the opposite of literature in the sense that reality tv argues that reality is just stories, and literature argues that stories are real.

Also, let it be said that Daniel Handler is one of my favorite author interviewees.

Link

Does anybody have a recommendation for a house painter? Exterior. Thanks!

“According to Iger, Disney believes it now has the cultural cachet to make its most misogynist movie in years, perhaps by going back to a female lead whose life is empty, unfulfilling, and valueless until the moment she receives true love’s first kiss.”

Tee hee hee.

Link

I can’t believe poor people are letting their children graze on federal food stamps. Wait, I think I still have this story wrong. It is so confusing.

Me: “Phoenix Dance Academy. I’ve never seen that before. I wonder what it is.”

Isabel: “I’m going to guess it’s an academy that teaches dance in Phoenix.”

Hrmph.

Isabel sang a beautiful solo at their district combined choir concert this weekend. I would tell you what they sang but I don’t know. Anyway, it was lovely and complicated and they were picked by the guest director because of their “good tone” which made my day :)